Food for thought
I just sit and watch the Food Network for 10 hours a day.

1. Rachel Ray is a moron. No one can be that UP and not be doing drugs.

2. Mario Batali is really the body double for Austin Power's FAT BASTARD.

3. No one needs to see Emeril on tv for more than an hour a day. His constant screaming of "KICK IT UP A NOTCH" is so irritating - and now the fool is doing Crest commercials.

4. Alton Brown never gets old. He is always informative and entertaining.

4. Oh my god. When my birthday comes...I want this cake.

the gloved one
Oh my god - I love these new gloves from Banana Republic. Is it because they are pink, or because they look like golfer's gloves? Who knows. Do I need them, probably not. It's like 70 degrees here in Los Angeles, meanwhile I'm watching people on the east coast freezing their asses off standing in front of the Today show window...

DEAF jam
Being in the hospital for two days, basically bedridden, I had nothing to do but watch tv. The tv in my room had CC (closed captioning) on and I couldn't turn it off. Can I just say - the deaf are getting totally cheated.

I watched every single channel and none of them correctly subtitled the dialogue that was on the show! They would either completely mis-spell things, or they would cut out a punchline completely. As if they didn't have enough to deal with, the deaf are getting screwed.

Visitation rights
Why do people insist on visiting you the first WEEK you have a baby? I don't get that. My mom says people are just "happy for you" and want to see him. I can understand that - but the first two weeks after having a kid are a nightmare. Hell I knew that before I even had a kid. I barrred all visitors except for my mom and some family members - from coming over. Cause I just didn't want to deal with it. There's too many other nightmares going on. Such as my baby not sleeping at all last night. See, nightmare.

Worse than that - my biggest pet peeve is people who want to visit you in the hospital. Maybe it's from years and years of my adult life being in and out of the hospital - that I really don't appreciate people visiting me in all my glory of being hooked up to IV's and all crappy feeling. I don't get any sense of joy from people seeing me like that - UNLESS I ask them to come see me. I'm sure other people enjoy hospital visitors but I can't stand it.

Unless of couse I ask for visitors. To help us take care of the baby my mom stayed with us all week and it was best week of my life. I couldn't have done it without her. All the books in the world won't help you figure out what's wrong with your kid. But your mom may have some damn good insights. Thanks Mom.

He's Here...

Our baby was born Saturday Night.

Pushed him out in 10 mins. Man am I tired...

Turn the radio on, turn the radio up

Food Network's newest show is Dweezil and Lisa. I've always had a space in my heart for Dweezil Zappa, I mean how can you deny a guy who's 80's cd included the song, "My guitar wants kill yo mama?"

Anyway - Dweezil seemed a bit retarded through the whole show, but I'm sure he was just dazed by the fact that it was his birthday. Lisa however seemed to dominate the entire show. Which can get irritating - she is too cartoony cute!! While I agree with her on some of her vegetarian views, hello - I don't think that a diet of watermelon and peanuts is good for anyone.

They were in Atlanta and went to a place called Varsity- world's biggest drive in - where every damn menu item was fried. More importantly they went to Gladys Night's chicken and waffles. You know I LOVE me some chicken and waffles. Delish!

from purses to plates
HOLY CRAP. Why can't I get married again. I'd register for these brand new Kate Spade designed china sets!!

You're FIRED
I love NBC's new show the Apprentice. But that idiot midget Sam has to go. He's such a f*cker I can't stand it. He's just like that one guy in your office who kisses ass and the boss keeps giving him chances while the rest of the office is like "what the f*ck??" And hell yes my office has a ton of those losers. Also - that Sam - he's a damn midget. Proof? Everyone else has large regular sized suitcases packed and this guy carts around a carry on.

I hate all Mark Burnett shows (Survivor) cause he always makes you think the one you hate will leave - and they NEVER DO. God that guy Sam is an a-hole. If he wins I willl be freakin' pissed.

Cuts like a knife



This is too cool. It's all Edwards Scissor hands-esque - but backwards!!

Hungry?
Being home all day allows me to try out my different recipes. Here's a hawaiian one:

Furikake mahimahi
2-1/2 lb mahimahi
1 egg white
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup cornstarch
1 cup furikake (seasoned seaweed mix)
1 cup panko (breading)
1/4 oil

cut mahi into 12 fillets. Heat a skillet or griddle. Combine egg white, milk, water, flour and cornstarch.; mix until smooth. Combine furikake and panko. Dip mahimahi into batter and roll in furikake mixture. Brush hot skillet with oil. Grill mahi on both side until lightly browned. If you like, serve with oriental sauce.

Oriental Sauce
1 cup soy sauce
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup sugar
1 tablespoon minced ginger
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon water

I am the MOLE
Oh yeah! It's my - and Figgy's - fave game show - CELEBRITY MOLE. The first episode was hilarious. I hope they vote out Dennis Rodman cause he's boring. I hope he's no the MOLE cause he could give a sh*t.

Personally - to start out - I'm going with - Mark Curry is the mole. He seemed like he was in all the scenes AND he got an exemption right off.

Recycle This
Being home is boring. Better than being at work tho.

So I wasted an hour of my life watching Real World San Diego last night. God what a bunch of losers. There are no good characters this season. Well, maybe it will get better later in the season since they all seem to get arrested for something or another.

Also I ended up crossing the supermarket picket line yesterday. Doh. Well, I'm sick of it already. First of all I went down to the recycling place with a big old thing full of cans cause Kyle wanted to get money for recycling.

Hello it got me a mere $2.80. Forget it. It's not worth it - I'm just going to recycle for the good of the environment. They can keep their goddam $2. The lame thing is they only pay you in CREDIT and you have to use it at the Vons - where - of course - they are picketing. So I just crossed the goddam line already. I think they felt bad for me since I was so huge like I was gonna have the baby right there and then if they didn't let me in. So I went and bought some grapefruit and some oranges. Yeah they were free but who cares, I'm not hauling those recycling things down there ever again. What a pain in the a$$.

SARS
I hate third world countries. They disgust me. Let's not even go into the restaurants Kyle goes to at lunch where he's found a variety of hairs and bugs in his food.

So I'm reading the L.A. Times about the new SARS outbreak in China and i swear - it's disgusting. Hello - the guy who got it - they tested him and the people around him and get this: "the rats in his apartment." Dude that guy is a tv producer and he has rats in his apartment?? AND they said China is killing all these animals called civets - "cat like" animals that they eat, that supposedly carry the virus. They f*cking eat cats!!! Sick bastards.

burn it off

hmmm...sneakers that help you get rid of cellulite? i'd like to see that.